P.E.T.A.P.

I went out for lunch today.  The weather was beautiful.  The sky was blue, and the wind was blowing just a bit.  We walked past that steak place, yeah it's a chain, but the meat is always cooked just right.  It was one of those days that makes you feel good to be alive.  Then it happened.....

There's this new trendy 'Veggie' place....VEGGIE!!!!.  Poor vegetables.  Why on earth would someone want to eat poor defensless vegetables?  They say they're good for you.....SELFISH!!!  What do you mean they're good for you?  Because they're defensless little vegetables?  Because they can't make you work for your food.  As my face turned red and tears poured down my face, my appetite ran like all of the animals those trendy 'veggie' eating pieces of....ok....keep calm....

So, I was helping a cucumber fight back when the waiter 'accidentally' acquired a new found appretiation for those who can hear, as he no longer can.  It takes a bit of work, but the human ear hole is rather 'forgiving'.  The sound of the police sirens let us know if was time to start heading back.  I'm sure Officer Tubby would support my cause, but never in public.  His wife has him on this 'no red meat' crap diet.  If she ever got wind that he backed the correct side on this, he wouldn't get the turkey bologna she lets him have twice a week.  We can't have that.  We need to help him stay on her good side.  The fact that he lets his wife limit him to two slices of turkey bologna a week is another story all together.  The more that gets eaten the better.  Besides, those turkeys lost the fight.  They have legs and beaks.  A much better chance to defend themselves than those poor tomotoes....at....that....trendy...crap...hole...  Sorry, I gotta go.  There's a vegitarian that needs to learn about the food chain....

Until next time.

Plant Power!